


Passion

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Series: Glamour & Reverie [8]
Category: Changeling: the Dreaming, Mirrors (2008)
Genre: AO3 1 Million, Angst, Changelings, Fauns & Satyrs, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 15:51:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1190844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Your passion will be a blessing and curse." Larry didn't believe it. Not until he met Ben Carson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Your passion will be a blessing and curse.” The first satyr that Larry had ever met had told him much; about love and glamour in the world of the fae that he was now part of. It had been a long, glorious night full of sensual pleasure and debauchery. And everything that he had said had felt so right to him. This was his calling, to give himself wholeheartedly to art and music and passion, to inspire mortals to the same. He hadn’t believed that any of it could be a curse.

He also hadn’t believed the other satyrs he’d gone on to meet when they’d spoken so reverently about the fairytale of true love. Why would one ever want to limit themselves to just one person? And how could one person alone satisfy the myriad of a satyrs passions and pursuits?

He’d certainly never held back. When he allied himself to the Murdoch’s freehold and decided to earn the title of Knight in his noble house, he’d already spent two years traveling in the company of his kith, carving a swath of seduction across the continent as he learned the skills and magic of the Fae. Settling down in one location just meant a new group to fae to tempt.

It wasn’t his primary goal, of course. If he had to admit it, his desires to tempt and seduce were far more empowered by his dark side than the light. He settled down because he realized that his stronger, sunlit passion was the desire to help build a strong and successful community, to help others live in harmony. So Larry was always careful to never use the Gift of Pan to urge Fae or mortal into anything that would truly corrupt them.

He’d never realized passion’s curse until he’d met Ben Carson.

Larry stood at the rear doors to Lord Murdoch’s receiving hall, leaning against the wall with a deceptively casual relaxation. He’d honed his fighting skills for years, both alongside the freehold’s Lord and from his own mentor. With a satyrs strength and grace, he could jump into action at a second’s notice. But it was rarely necessary. The freehold had existed peaceably as long as he’d known of it; even the Fae in the city who were more disposed to darker legacies were amicable to John’s rule and will.

He let himself take in the freehold’s new arrivals. They were a pair of brothers, sent on request from a distant ally, the Sidhe Duke Richard. John had dismissively mentioned something about a lovers squabble, but hadn’t been concerned about the two being a danger. As John approached them, Larry immediately knew that they’d be welcome to stay as long as they wanted; his Lord was completely enthralled by the young Sidhe. Smitten, definitely. Larry could feel his waves of attraction and desire even halfway across the room, and he let himself enjoy it, despite a slight disappointment. John had been a playful and satisfying bedfellow on more than one occasion. He’d miss that.

The object of his lord’s attention was exquisite, radiant in the way that only a Sidhe could be, all golden light and glamour. But he carried both an air of wisdom and of humility with him, unlike most Sidhe Larry had met or bedded. He could only assume that it had to do with the fae’s noble house; House Liam were considered oathbreakers and disgraced by Sidhe society. Larry couldn’t blame John for wanting him.

He had no desire to compete with his Lord for the Sidhe’s affections, though. Not when his companion was so much more delectable. Larry let his eyes move over the strong, warriors body of the troll that stood alert at his brother’s side. Ben was tall and built, and carried the immense strength that was a trademark of his kith, though while he stood a full head taller than his willowy brother, he wasn’t the off-putting ginormous size that some of his kith could be. His short blond hair was almost white in his seeming, and where Daniel’s features were beautiful, his were incredibly handsome. The gray-blue skin Larry could see under the troll’s armored vest and bracers was covered with intricate blue-black warrior’s tattoos. Larry had met enough trolls in his time to understand their significance, and suddenly realized that despite the youth of their mortal seeming, the pair in front of him had very ancient souls indeed.

It was quickly followed by the realization that Ben was the most delectable member of his kith that Larry had ever encountered.

Immediately his dark desires screamed for control. What fun it would be to wind this noble warrior with the magic of music and passion, to tempt him until he gave into his basest desires. But he couldn’t set about this with the goal of just a torrid affair. John would kill him… if the troll or his Sidhe brother didn’t do it first. He’d need every inch of social skill, every careful grace and dignity to convince the troll that he wasn’t just another wild creature of passion.

John brought both fae to where he stood. “Gentlemen, this is Larry Byrne, head of my personal guard. He’s a pervert.”

 _Fuck you, John,_ Larry thought, but gave the newcomers a wide smile, offering his hand. “I’m the only member of your personal guard. Pleased to meet you.” Daniel was calm, polite, and still seemed a little overwhelmed. Ben, though… Larry could see the troll sizing him up as his hand took hold of Larry’s, grip strong and firm. Larry resisted the urge to let the touch linger.

Over dinner he did his best to establish himself with the new pair with dignity, explaining the freehold and when necessary interpreting John’s flights of fancy. He was relieved to see some of the suspicion leave Ben’s eyes as the night wore on. 

Then Lord Murdoch swept his Sidhe guest away into the gardens, obviously having no other thoughts but those of love. Ben stood as they left the hall, glancing to Larry. “Coming?”

 _I wish,_ Larry thought, but stood and smiled. “Of course.” He followed Ben casually, keeping the other pair just in sight without intruding. He regarded the troll as they walked. Ben’s complete devotion to the Sidhe was without question, but he didn’t seem particularly concerned about John’s intentions. “You’ve been protecting Daniel for a long time, haven’t you?”

Ben glanced to him, his smile warm and fond. “Since before the sundering, from what we can remember. Before Lord Liam was declared oathbreaker. But we don’t remember more than tiny pieces.”

“I can’t imagine what that would be like.”

Ben gave a low hum, thoughtful. “It doesn’t particularly give any advantage, other than the knowledge of what we are to each other. We only remember bits and pieces. But it’s nice to have a blank slate otherwise.”

Larry took a moment to examine the troll now. There is nothing in his manner to suggest that he was keeping anything from him, but while trolls were known for their honor and honesty, they were also known for their stoic ability to keep their passions very well hidden. “A blank slate. So that you can both form new attachments at will?” He asked carefully.

Ben chuckled, the look in his eyes knowing. “I’m no Ottmar the Oathbreaker nursing a bleeding heart for my charge, if that’s what you’re worried about, Sir Knight. Daniel can love as he will. If that choice is your Lord then I think it will be a good match.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Larry replied, relieved. “I’d hate to cross swords with you.” _Not metal ones, anyway._

Ben gave a sharp nod, still at ease and amused. “Nor I you. Still, perhaps we can train sometime? You’re not like the other satyrs I’ve met.”

“No?” Larry perched on the back of the stone bench that sat on the promenade surrounding the gardens, resting his foods on the seat.

Ben settled on the seat, one arm hanging over the back casually. “I’m used to your kith being very… Overbearing.”

 _I can be if you want me to,_ Larry thought, but grinned. “We don’t all think with our dicks,” he said. _Or some of us can at least hide it._ Despite secret hopes that Ben would instantly want his hot ass, Larry was strangely relieved that he hadn’t. It proved the other warrior far more worthy of his interest than any easy conquest had been. And Larry was quietly pleased that the other Fae seemed to consider him an equal.

But god, did he ever want to bone him.

Once the newcomers were settled and John had no further him, Larry made tracks deep into the freehold, traversing the halls of the freehold with practiced ease. Being around Ben had left him feeling slightly mad with repressed desire, but he had more than one casual lover in the freehold. His target was a place that John referred to as the bat cave: a large hall safely underground that had been taken over by the freehold’s resident Nockers for their experiments. It was keep enough that it wouldn’t rattle the freehold windows if there were any unexpected explosions - which there often were.

Larry wasn’t quite sure what they were working on at the moment, but Abby was wielding a welding torch when he entered, while Cherry was screwing LED bulbs into an assortment of what looked like misshapen milk jugs. He stopped in the doorway as Abby let out a stream of angry profanity and shut off the torch. Larry raised his hand in a wave. “Hey lovelies. Burning the midnight oil?” 

Cherry put down a bottle and grinned at him, her red-swirled cheeks rosy and her volumous white-blonde hair contained in two pigtails that puffed out from her head. “Hey sexy. Things would go better if your hot ass stuck around for inspiration.”

Abby pushed her goggles up around her own black pigtails and took a big sip from a fountain drink that looked bright enough to have been made in the deep Dreaming. She kicked at the leg of the table with one platformed boot. “Couldn’t make this fucking piece of shit turn out any worse than it already is, anyway.”

Larry was well use to the Nocker’s habitual profanity by now. “Ah, I’m sure you’ll all pull it together. Whatever it is.”

“It’s a motherfucking fire-breathing hippo, is what it is.” The young man in question rolled out from underneath what looked like a vehicle undercarriage. His black hair was as messy and gravity defying as the rest of his kith, but something about his big brown eyes and the way his pointed ears turned up always put Larry in mind of a puppy. “It’s our monster car for fucking Burning Man. It’s going to be completely ace. I’m bloody chuffed.”

“We wanted the damn thing done for Shambhala, but if we can’t get the hell back on schedule that’s fucking not going to happen.” Cherry pouted at him. “You coming with us this year, cinnamon stick? We always have room for a hot daddy or two.”

Larry chuckled, well used to Cherry’s blatant flirtations. “Only if you can convince Lord Murdoch, and since he’s gagging for the pretty young Sidhe boy that just joined us you probably won’t have much luck dragging him.” Visiting the nockers always made him more apt to cuss; he’d even caught himself using some of Connors British-isms. He quite liked the young inventor, who’d gone through chrysalis two years ago in the middle of some secret project for the government. Larry was glad he’d stayed on the side of the pond, even if they were only casual bedfellows. He gave Connor a winning grin and let his voice deepen in invitation. “I don’t suppose you’re planning to call it a night anytime soon, are you, handsome?”

Connor grinned, but held his hands up helplessly. “You know I’m arse over tits for you, mate, but I promised other Abby that I’d help her with that bloody dragon chimera she’s been nursing. And tomorrow I have a date with that hunky soldier boy.”

“I’d keep you company if you’d change your damn mind about not liking boobs,” Cherry teased, while her girlfriend rolled her eyes.

“I’m sure the pervert has no shortage of fuck buddies.” Abby said.

Connor nodded agreement. “Hey, why don’t you go hit up a bar or two, find a mortal? There’s gotta be loads of hobknockers you can chat up, yeah?”

“Because no human is half as adorable as you,” Larry replied, leaning in to kiss one temple despite not knowing what on earth a hobknocker was. He glanced at the time. It was still early enough that he could catch the bars, and even if he didn’t, he knew or the after parties were. “All right, cutie pies. Don’t blow yourself up. I’m looking forward to seeing your hippo.”

Maybe it would be good to find a human dreamer or two for the evening, and lose himself in the meaningless pursuit of passion. It certainly seemed as though he wouldn’t be getting any at the freehold for a while. And if the mortal man he went home with that night was a tall, handsome blonde who could pick Larry up with one hand? Well, Ben certainly didn’t need to know.

***


	2. Chapter 2

Larry did end up crossing swords with Ben, though it was in the training ring, which proved to be something he badly needed. Lord Murdoch’s personal training regime focused more on magic and the sword rather than the more heavily physical fighting forms that Larry excelled at, so he hadn’t had many sparring partners sense his mentor had gone a year prior; a fine satyr who’d danced a glorious Tragoidia before disappearing into the mists forever. Larry still missed the old grump.

If he’d thought Ben sexy before, he was doubly so when fighting, all strength and perfect discipline. At first it was hard not to be distracted by the shift of his muscles or the gleam of sweat on his brow. Larry quickly learned to file those images away for later, when his opponent’s inherent sexuality wouldn’t be such a dangerous distraction.

He was surprised to find how exciting it was to throw himself into an ardent but subtle pursuit of his new friend. His normal tactic of seduce first, pursue after definitely wouldn’t work with this one. Nor would obvious overtures. First and foremost, he needed to earn Ben’s trust. And deep down he truly wanted to; something about being around the noble troll made him want to be worthy of the man’s attentions.

“What kind of weapon do you think would be appropriate for him?” He asked Connor over the engine of the slowly growing fire-breathing hippo bus. “A chimerical one, I mean. I was thinking some kind of ranged weapon. I’d like to have one commissioned, when you have room in your schedule, sweetheart. What do you think?”

“For that giant you’re snogging?” Connor straightened, contemplating the matter. “Suppose I could fuck around with a few things and see what you think. Must be a nice bit of arse in the sack, yeah?”

Larry felt a strange kind of shyness. “We’re not fucking. He’s a friend.”

“Bit of a first for you.” Connor leaned back against the engine block, folding his arms across his chest and looking up at him. “You’re bloody serious about this one, aren’t you?”

Larry shrugged, trying to play it off. “He’s interesting. But it’s mostly out of duty. John’s so taken with Daniel, and he’s Daniel’s protector, so – “

“That’s bloody bullshit, mate, and you know it. Hell, you haven’t been trying to get into my kit since he got here. You even been out on the pull for mortals?”

Larry felt his cheeks heat. He’d definitely been out in the city, though it was more for necessity than anything else; being around Ben left him far too worked up to not have some kind of outlet for his passions. But he’d never gone home with the same mortal twice in a row. Anything less than casual seemed wrong when he couldn’t devote himself to it fully. “I’ve been around.”

Connor’s lips pursed. “Worried about you. Not that I’m a fucking expert on perverts, but you seem bloody obsessed, love. You need to get yourself the hell out here for a bit. Go visit your studio.”

“I’m fine,” Larry tried to argue, though now that he’d brought it up had to admit that he hadn’t spent much time on anything other than Ben or casual sex in the weeks since he’d arrived.

Connor rolled his eyes. “Fuck my other leg, it has bells on it. Don’t worry, mate. I’ll put something ace together for that shagtastiac man of yours. But what I want in return is for you to spend at least two days a week at your damn studio for the next month, yeah? That’s far too goddamn sweet a set up for you to neglect over a bloody man. Oh, and we need a sound system for the hippo. A really good one. With huge fucking subwoofers. Deal?”

Larry knew his smile was as rueful as he felt. “Deal.”

He couldn’t deny the Connor was right. He had been neglectful of his mortal commitments, and they were far too valuable for that. The studio had been the final gift from Larry’s mentor before his Tragoidia; a connection to the mortal entertainment business and a source of glamour, as well as a resource for any satyr tragos who visited the city. Being around Ben and pursuing Ben was such a heady rush that it had been easy to rationalize staying in the freehold. But he really did need more balance in his life.

But maybe he could kill two birds with one stone.

“Wanna go see my studio with me today?” Larry dropped into his seat across the table from Ben the next morning. He’d already been out for a run, washed, dressed, and eaten, and the thought of taking Ben out to his haunts made him feel fairly giddy. “I have to go in and see to some things this morning.” 

Ben looked up from a large mug of coffee. “Oh, yeah. Your one in the city. Does it take a lot of work?”

Larry shrugged. “As much as I want to put into it. I have good staff, they keep it running pretty well, which is a good thing because I only took it over completely last year. I like to do a bit of session work here and there. It’s gorgeous there, the place just seems to hum with a low level glamour. I’d really like you to come see it. If you want, I mean.”

Ben took another swallow of coffee, and nodded. “Sounds good. I’d like to see more of the city in general, really.”

Larry felt his grin almost split his face. “Well then, you have your tour guide.”

The day was warm and sunny, and Larry couldn’t help but feel a thrill of excitement as he unlocked the front door to the studio, Ben waiting patiently behind him. “How did you end up with this place, anyway?” The troll asked.

Larry smiled and push the door open, holding it after him for Ben. “I’d been helping my mentor here basically since I’d moved back to the city and joined the freehold. He didn’t have any children - and anyway, it’s best to keep this place in the hands of kith. Satyrs have held a studio in the city… Basically since recording became a thing, I guess. Every successful band that started up in this city has recorded here at one time or another. The performance space next door connects, it’s owned by the musical tragos that’s based on the mainland. But the studio’s all mine.”

Ben smiled as he looked around, nodding slowly. “It’s nice in here. It _feels_ nice.”

“We have a good crowd of regulars,” Larry replied, beaming from the praise. “Come see the actual studio.”

The main recording room was large and paneled in honey varnished wood, classic and warm. It was currently set up in standard form, the house set micced, the various keyboards and amps all individually feeding into the main soundboard in the control room. The back of the room held doors to smaller sound booths, glass windows overlooking the main area. The long wall held racks of various instruments, and the studios selection of classical, electric, acoustic and bass guitars hung carefully on pegs.

Ben stopped by the wall, looking up at the small collection of guitars with a smile that was strangely wistful. He reached up to run his fingers over the side of an electric with a cinnamon stained mahogany body and a black pickguard. “This one’s really nice.”

Larry moved to stand beside him. “She’s one of my favorites. Fender Telecaster Classic.”

Ben nodded. “That’s a good choice for a house guitar. Good quality sound.”

“You like guitars?” The revelation both surprised and charmed him.

Ben didn’t seem to share his joy at the revelation, though. “I used to, very much. I still do, I guess. Just haven’t played since I was a kid, since before my chrysalis.”

“Really? Well… once you get settled, once Daniel’s settled I could teach you, if you want. I play session for a lot of different musicians, so…”

“I really wish I could take you up on that, Lar.”

“Why not? I have time, you can make time, right? Even just an hour a day - “

Wordlessly Ben reached between them, taking Larry’s hand with his own. For a moment, and Larry’s heart stopped. The press of Ben’s skin against his sent a wave of warmth through him, reminding him of every desire that he’d fought so hard to keep to himself. But he quickly realized that it wasn’t a romantic gesture; Ben had merely lifted his hand so he could press his palm against Larry’s, fingers outstretched. The message was obvious. The troll’s fingers were a good quarter longer than his, and thicker as well.

Immediately Larry felt a rush of dismay, though he fought to keep it hidden. The idea of wanting to play music and being limited was heartbreaking. He forced a smile, twining their fingers together casually. “Guess bigger isn’t always better, hey?”

Ben chuckled, dropping his gaze to their hands. “Can’t have everything, I guess. I did learn percussion and basic composition in jazz ensemble in high school, but our extracurricular focus was more on spending time at the freehold and learning fighting and spells. I didn’t keep up with it.”

“Well, I do have a very sturdy house set, if you ever want a place to jam.”

Ben looked over at it, contemplating the offer. Then he gave his hand a squeeze before pulling away. “How about now?”

Larry grabbed the Fender telecaster down off the wall. “Now sounds perfect.”

They’d played until the day’s first booking of musicians arrived, then hung out in the studio for a few more hours, watching them work. The feel of creation was glorious, and when they finally left Larry felt so happy that he had to make a conscious effort not to skip down the street. Instead they spent the afternoon in the city, visiting various markets, parks, and the wharf. With Ben at his side, taking it all in with a soft, wondering smile, Larry couldn’t imagine a day more idyllic.

“Cancel the ranged weapon,” Larry said late that evening as he burst into the Batcave. “I mean, if you haven’t started on anything yet, of course. You haven’t, have you?”

Connor and Cherry were busy screwing her LED lighted shampoo bottle things into what appeared to be the giant mouth at the hippo. Teeth, Larry finally realized. Connor looked up with a smirk. “And what the hell would you do if I had, mate?”

“Pay you for both,” Larry replied without hesitation. “But I need this one first. I really, really need this one.”

“This one what?” Cherry climbed out of the inside of the hippos mouth and straightened her glasses. “Did you finally decide to take a chance on our fucking awesome vibrating dildos?”

“I’ll leave that to you to enjoy, honey,” he replied. “No, I need a guitar. I mean, I know it’s not usually your thing, so if you feel like it’s outside your skill level - “

“Bitch, please. I could make a guitar in my sleep.” Abby pushed past him, with what looked like huge steel pieces of vehicle frame over her shoulder.

Larry hopped away from her nervously. Steel was too close to cold iron for him to feel completely comfortable around large amounts of it. “Careful with those, dear. We don’t all have your tolerance.”

Abby’s grin was almost wicked. “You fucking think so, do you? This is Tungsteel. Our talented motherfuckers in Pittsburgh developed it. Tungsten and silicone and not an ounce of cold iron in it, bitches!”

“Fucking right,” Cherry agreed. “And Abby makes hella gorgeous guitars. Something you can’t buy, Larry?”

Larry shook his head. “I need a big one, maybe a quarter bigger than standard? It needs to have jumbo frets and the neck should be 2 and three quarters to three inches.”

Connor gave a low hum of understanding. “Troll size, then. Normal size in the real world and bigger chimerically, yeah?”

“Can you do that?”

“Damn right we can,” Abby replied, with a little determined frown. “Well fit it in around the hippo. Should have the damn thing done sometime in May. Gonna cost you, though.”

“Just send me the bill,” Larry replied, wrapping his arms around both Cherry and Connor for a tight squeeze, then blowing Abby a kiss. “You’re all the most talented motherfuckers ever to make shit.”

“Damn right,” Abby said again, with a satisfied nod.

 

Ben and Daniel both started to integrate with mortal society in the city, so it was easy for Larry to keep his commitment to Connor to spend time at his studio. One of the older trolls in the freehold had used her connections to set Ben up as a job teaching hockey and ice skating to youngsters, something that troll found so engaging that Larry could practically taste the passion for it hidden under his calm demeanor. Daniel was slowly establishing contacts as a musical therapist, which would be incredibly valuable to the freehold; it was far too common for newly awakened Fae to end up in mental institutions before they could make contact to help them understand their true nature. Having someone on the inside would help them rescue those Fae before the banal effects of medicine undid them.

Being away from Ben also made their reunions all the more sweet for him. They still spent most of their evenings at the freehold, sparring or just enjoying the company of other Fae. But sometimes Ben would come with him to the studio. The secret of the nocker’s guitar was hard to keep to himself; he couldn’t wait to offer Ben lessons.

But training was almost as exhilarating. Panting, he tucked an errant curl of his red hair back into the headband that he used to confine it as he and Ben circled each other in the freehold’s training ring. They’d set aside practice weapons for simple hand to hand and wrestling, and Larry could feel sweat trickling between his skin and the hard leather plate armor he’d donned out of necessity. He caught Ben’s intentions a split second before the troll rushed him and managed to dodge at the last minute, catching hold of his opponents arm and throwing his weight in perfectly calculated form to flip them both. Dropping into a role and hopping back to his feet, he planted one hooved foot in the center of Ben’s breastplate to push him back down. “That’s how it’s done.”

Ben laughed breathlessly, grinning up at him. “Show me again. I could use it on a larger troll, couldn’t I?”

Larry stepped back, echoing his lap and shaking his head. “I’ve already thrown you three times in a row. I’m pooped. And I really, really need a shower.” He offered a hand, pulling Ben back to his feet. “We can go again tomorrow if I’m not too bruised.”

Ben nodded, not seeming at all bent out of shape for being bested. “And you can teach me?”

“I can teach you the theory. It’s kind of hard to practice without having someone at least your size to face. Maybe we can talk one of the grumps into having a go.”

“Sounds good to me.” Ben clapped him on the shoulder as they made their way out of the training ring, and for a long moment his hand lingered. Larry relished in the touch. He’d been patient for what felt like forever, made sure he was always appropriate and unassuming. And he was certain that he’d begun to see interest from the other Fae that went beyond friendship. Perhaps he’d finally waited long enough.

He turned as they reached the doors to the salle, looking up at him, hesitating a moment before offering his careful invitation. “Once we’ve cleaned up… I don’t suppose you’d be interested in a nightcap?”

A sudden surge of passion-glamour washed into him as Ben returned his gaze, and it was all Larry could do not to react visibly. It was just the reaction he’d craved, and he wet his lips, taking a small step closer, wishing he dared to reach out to touch his friend. “What do you say?”

Ben’s lips parted as if to speak, but then he stopped, giving a little shake of his head and a smile that seemed regretful. “I shouldn’t. I have an early class tomorrow.”

Larry fought a surge of disappointment, wondering if he should have been more obvious. “I’ll make sure you get to sleep at a decent time,” he tried again, but Ben stepped back, and Larry could feel the passion he’d felt being shuttered away.

“Another time,” Ben said softly, though he reached out to squeeze Larry shoulder gently, hand lingering. “I’m sorry.”

“Another time,” Larry echoed, but he couldn’t keep from feeling disappointment. He played the conversation over and over in his mind that night, tossing and turning in bed for hours. Had he imagined Ben’s interest? Was it just reflection of his own? And if that was the case, how badly had he screwed things up between them?

It was far too easy to spend the day moping, curled on the love seat in his room picking out soulful tunes on an acoustic guitar. But the music managed to make him feel marginally better, enough for him to convince himself to emerge from his rooms in the evening to find Ben. Another time, right? Maybe he did actually mean that. Maybe things weren’t a complete failure.

When he entered the banquet Hall, though, he was surprised to see his friend into conversation with Daniel and Lord Murdoch, with young troll girl standing at his side. She wasn’t anyone Larry recognized, and he felt a cold trickle of dread as he approached them.

“Larry!” Ben caught sight of him, grinning widely and waving him over. “This is Angie, one of the junior coaches from my work. She just woke up today. Lord Murdoch’s given his blessing on me taking her as a foundling.”

Suddenly the dread turned into jealousy, a surge so strong that for a brief moment Larry couldn’t reply. Then he pasted on his most charming smile. “That’s amazing news, congratulations, both of you.”

“Angie, this is Larry Byrne, head of my personal guard,” John introduced more formally. “He’s a pervert.”

 _Just a pervert._ Larry seethed inside, but offered his hand graciously. “I’m the only member of your personal guard, John. Pleased to meet you, Angie.”

***


	3. Chapter 3

The freehold’s new arrival sent Larry into a set of melancholy worse than anything he’d ever experienced. He played a little, but for the most part he didn’t have the will to even drag himself out of bed. He felt like his already broken heart would shatter further at just the sight of Ben, and he couldn’t bring himself to face that.

He’d futilely hoped that no one would notice his absence. But one morning a few days later the dreaded knock came at his door. “Larry?”

John. Larry groaned. Better John than Ben, he supposed, except if it had been Ben or anyone else he could’ve ignored the door and pretended he wasn’t in. But John controlled the freehold. He couldn’t hope to keep him out.

Giving a long sigh, he dragged himself out of bed and flipped the lock undone, not waiting for John to open it before walking back to the bed and flopping back down on his stomach. “I’m here and I’m still eating sometimes. Is that good enough?”

“Maybe, but you smell really bad,” John declared, his voice aggravatingly cheerful. He crossed the room to perch on the edge of the bed. “You need to leave your room now, moping is not sexy at all.”

“I don’t care. There’s no point in getting up.”

“There’s always a point in getting up, and getting it up. You’re just throwing a satyr tantrum, silly.”

“It’s not a tantrum. My life is over.” If John was going to be ridiculous, Larry was certainly going to indulge in the overdramatic. It was easier to speak John’s language, anyway.

“Hmmm.” John was silent for a moment. Then his hand delivered a hard slap to the fleshy part of his ass.

“Ow! Fuck, John!”

“Clearly your life’s not over,” John replied cheerfully. “Though if it was, it would explain the smell. Eau de Goat is permeating the entire freehold. I have to do something about it.”

A soft laugh escaped Larry’s lips despite himself. “I hate you.”

“You love me. And if I was getting some, I’d try and talk Daniel into pouncing you so that we could both show you how much I love you back. Unfortunately I still have to talk him into pouncing me. Hopefully before my dick falls off.”

Larry smiled, shaking his head. He rolled over onto his back and folded his arms behind his head, looking up at his Pooka friend. “I know I’m being ridiculous,” he admitted, and blew out a long sigh. “I just… I don’t know if I can face him, John. I’m in love. I’m madly, head over heels in love, and I hate it. I just want to lock myself away forever.”

“You could do that. I guess I could carry you into the shower before I leave,” John mused, shifting more onto the bed, crossing his legs and leaning back on his arms. “That would take care of the smell. Oh, and you should know that he’s asking for you. But I guess you don’t care about that.”

Larry set up sharply. “He is? What did he say?”

“It doesn’t matter, you don’t care - “

Larry skidded across the bed to grab the lapels of John’s velvet jacket. “What. Did he. Say?”

John’s teasing smile turned into something warmer. “He’s worried about you. He spoke with Daniel at length. He’d been hoping you’d be willing to help him with Angie’s weapons training, you know.”

Larry felt his stomach twist, and he looked away. “Oh.”

“What you mean, oh? Usually people are happy with someone they love wants to spend time with them.”

Larry shook his head. “He has Angie to focus on now.”

John threw his head back and laughed, loud and easy and full. “You stupid little satyr. She’s his _foundling_ , not his lover. Do you honestly think that anyone could find anyone in this city sexier than you? Except Daniel, of course. But he’s mine. So you are definitely sexy eligible bachelor number one.”

“But she’s a troll,” Larry moaned, flopping back onto the bed. “I can’t compete with that.”

“Daniel assures me that he is absolutely, positively, not interested in troll pussy. And, if you must know, I also have it on very good authority that he has a major weakness for perverts.”

Larry snorted. “Could have fooled me.”

“I don’t suppose you’d consider actually, you know, talking to him about how you feel?”

“I tried,” Larry replied with a frown. “He’s obviously not interested.”

“Well, you’re not exactly seeing straight right now. Or gay. But I am. And I know you’re not one to just give up on something that you’re passionate about.”

Larry felt a pang of regret. Give up? No, no he couldn’t give up. He sat up again. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Maybe I just need a break.”

“Take a break, don’t break yourself. Even if you don’t want to see him, at least go back to your mortals. You’ll feel better if you have something to focus on. But take a shower first. Trust me.” John’s smile was gentle, and he leaned in to press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You know you can talk to me if you need to, right? I may have fallen in love, but it doesn’t mean I won’t make time for my friends.”

Larry nodded, feeling warm and encouraged. “Thanks, John.”

When he finally left the freehold and turned his cell phone back on, he had eighteen missed calls from Ben. He wasn’t ready to return them yet, but it did make him feel a little more hopeful. He spent the day at his studio, and conveniently the group who had booked for the day was a local quartet he knew well, and the band leader was always happy to have someone to play his second guitar part live for their recording. They all went out for drinks afterwards, and when Larry finally fell into bed in his mortal world apartment, he felt like he was almost himself again.

He texted Ben the next day. _How are things with Angie? Do you need a hand with anything?_

 _Would love one,_ came the reply. _Freehold tonight?_

He was surprised to see Ben waiting outside for him alone when he arrived. “Angie inside already?”

Ben shook his head. “She had to go see family. But I wanted to catch up with you. Figured we could grab a drink and watch the game if you want? If hockey strikes your fancy?”

“I’m a bit of a fan,” Larry replied, feeling his smile come easily. Ben’s hand was warm on his arm as he grasped it briefly, starting with him down the street towards the neighborhood pub located nearby. It felt relieving to just settle in the corner of the sports bar with him, drinking far too much beer and chatting idly as they watched the game. The home team played well, and the bar hummed with a faint glamour from the mortals the gathered there.

It was enough to make him feel bold. He slipped his arm into Ben’s as they left the pub, leaning into him, encouraged when Ben didn’t pull away. He rather wished the freehold was farther away to give him longer to enjoy the walk.

“Are you at all interested in me?” The words came from his lips surprisingly easily.

Beside him, he heard Ben gave a soft sigh. The troll stopped as they reached the freehold, turning to face him with a familiar wistfulness in his expression. He reached one hand to cup the side of his face, his touch gentle as he leaned down to bring their lips together. The press of his mouth was warm and sweet, and for a moment Larry felt like he couldn’t breathe, lost in the warm weight of desire he could feel from his friend and the thrill of his own love. But then Ben moved to place a kiss to the base of one horn, burying his face in Larry’s hair and sighing again as he held him close. “I’m sorry,” he said softly after a moment. “Please don’t think that I’m not interested. I’m just… not really in a place where I can be with someone right now. It’s difficult to explain.”

Being close to Ben felt amazing, and part of him just wanted to tune out what Ben was saying and focus on the warmth and scent and strength of his body. But his words confused him. “Try me?”

He felt Ben’s fingers trace a slow line up his spine, silent for a long moment before replying. “Sometimes I envy your kith’s ability to just jump in and chase the things that you want. I’m not like that. I guess I just need some time.”

 _It’s already been so long,_ Larry couldn’t help but think. He drew back to look up at him. “Have I done something wrong?”

Ben shook his head, sliding his fingers back into Larry’s hair and stroking his cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. “No. There’s some things I have to work out. Not things that have to do with you. I’m sorry.”

 _Let me help you,_ Larry wanted to say. Surely whatever it was… But that was his way, not Ben’s. He needed to respect that. He forced a smile. “All right. I - I’d still like to help with Angie. If you want me to.”

“I do,” Ben replied. He leaned in to press his lips to Larry’s temple, breath warm against his skin. “I like the way I feel when I’m with you,” he said softly, then claimed Larry’s lips again, and Larry could feel his shiver through the kiss. Ben’s fingers tightened in his hair, a groan low in his throat as his lips parted, tongue flicking against his questing slow and deep as he claimed him. Larry returned the kiss with a soft whimper, wrapping his arms up around the delicious strength of Ben’s shoulders and wishing that he could somehow coax the other Fae into bed. Surely everything would be easier if they could just….

Ben pulled back as if reading his thoughts. “I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice soft, sad. “Just give me some time, handsome. I know you’re a satyr, I don’t expect you to live like a saint or anything, but if this is too much to ask then I’ll understand if you…”

“It’s okay,” Larry assured him, slipping a hand into his squeezing gently. As much as he couldn’t understand the request, the fact remained that his feelings weren’t unrequited. That alone was reason for joy. He smiled, feeling a warmth spread throughout his body. “I mean it. Do what you need to, I’ll be here.”

The look in Ben’s eyes as he returned his smile was worth it alone. He pressed his lips to Larry’s hair again, voice throaty. “Thank you.”

***


	4. Chapter 4

Things were easier for Larry after that. He met Angie properly, and found himself encouraged by the young woman’s enthusiasm, as well as the fact that she displayed no romantic interest in Ben. There was no dramatic change in how Ben acted towards him, but Ben had always been kind and considerate. And occasionally his patience was rewarded with a familial caress, with Ben’s arm around his waist or warm, sweet kiss good night. And now that Larry could let himself imagine what things would be like when his seduction was finally successful it was easier to be patient.

“What are your plans for Midsummer?” Daniel was the one who brought up the topic, which surprised Larry a little. He hadn’t spent much time with John’s new love interest, but he’d always gotten the impression that the Sidhe was far more interested in books and experiments and the glamour of learning than in parties.

“Going to hop the channel and go party,” John replied without hesitation. “The satyr tragus on the mainland spearheads a music festival every year, it’s a hell of a celebration. Do you want to go, darling? I have a fabulous festival tent. Bigger on the inside, very posh.”

Daniel already looked enchanted. He glanced to his brother. “What you think?”

Ben gave a soft hum, considering. “What kind of music?”

Bringing the whole crew along for Midsummer’s eve wasn’t something Larry had planned on. He’d been rather looking forward to giving full reign to his desires and trying to facilitate as many tent orgies as possible. Having them there would definitely change things. But he couldn’t deny that the idea of taking Ben out to a real satyr celebration sent a thrill of excitement through him… even if it meant the possibility of not getting any over Midsummer’s Eve. “It’s a good variety. Rock ‘n roll, some pop, some folk. Live music, not electronic. They’ve got an amazing headliner this year.”

Ben smiled as he watched him speak, then nodded. “I think that sounds like the perfect way to spend Midsummer.”

In the end it just ended up being the four of them camping together, though others from the freehold traveled out with them. John’s younger sister, the Selkie Lady Anna, was a common addition to the Nockers’ wolf pack with their pimped out hippie van that they set up in RV parking. But satyrs always held down the best camping spots, and they ended up tenting in a small clearing in the forest surrounded by trees, just far enough away from the stages of the music was only a faint thrum. Larry could already feel the tingle of excitement and glamour in the air from the Festival attendees as they set up, and more than anything he just wanted to lose himself to dancing in the forest for the rest of the night.

A few satyrs from the mainland tragus found them shortly after they’d finished setting up. The girls Larry had only met once, but the identical dark haired, blue-eyed hunks that lead the pack – those two Larry was very familiar with. When they caught sight of him they both broke into the grins they commonly used to melt the pants off potential lovers. One of them – Neal, he assumed from the fedora, since they both wore leather festival belts over there fur – pulled him into his arms to welcome him with a blistering kiss. “I hoped you’d make it out, sexy.”

Ken repeated the greeting, holding the kiss for a moment longer as if to outdo his brother. “Murdoch with you?”

“Do I hear twins?” John hopped out of his tent with a grin. “Hello beauties. I’d never mess one of your shindigs.” He reached back to catch Daniel’s hand as he followed him out of the tent. “Love, this unfairly handsome pair are Ken and - no, Neal and Ken. Two of the most charming perverts you’ll ever meet. Gentlemen, this is my consort, Daniel of house Liam. Our strong man is his brother, Ben.”

Consort? That was new to Larry. He glanced over to where Ben was loading their can quivers with icy beers out of the cooler, but found his expression carefully guarded.

The twins and the girls with them all inclined their heads respectfully. “This is Gia and Kasumi,” Neal introduced the girls, then wrapped an arm around Larry’s shoulder again. “You coming to our after party tonight, aren’t you? Have a couple drinks, get more naked. All of you.”

Larry chuckled and stepped from his embrace. In days gone by he would have taken the twins up on their invitation immediately. But it felt awkward now. “We’ll see how our evening goes. These two are popping their festival cherries, don’t want to debauch them too much on their first time out.”

“You know we’re always good with first timers,” Ken countered, smirking as he stepped past them to Ben, stroking a hand up his arm. “You’re especially welcome, hot stuff.”

Larry had to force himself not to pull the other satyr away from him. “I’m here for the music,” Ben replied, straight faced, but Ken just chuckled, patting his shoulder before returning to the group.

“Larry knows where to find us if you change your mind.” He patted Larry’s ass through the short black utili-kilt he’d donned. “Hope you’re going commando under that. See you later, hon.”

“Always.” Larry tried not to feel too regretful as he watched them leave, tails flicking invitingly. He gave Ben an embarrassed smile. “Sorry.” 

Ben shook his head, slinging two of the quivers across his back and handing one to Larry. “It’s fine. I have met other satyr before, you know. Let’s go check out the music.”

It was harder than Larry had expected to be around the throngs of passionate attendees, both mortal and Fae alike, knowing that he probably wasn’t going to get any that night. If this had been a satyr festival before the sundering everyone would have already been naked and fucking. But Ben was as appropriate as he always was, not making any move to engage in the public displays of affection that many around them were.

The only other thing for him to do was get shitfaced. By the time the headliner came on that night, their beer was depleted and both his hip flasks were empty, but he still wasn’t nearly drunk enough to not want to hump every sexy man nearby; Ben most of all. Larry tried to eyeball their place in the crowd in the darkness, then turned back to the others. “I think I’m going to go back and get more booze from camp. You guys going to stay here?”

Daniel appeared one step away from completely plastered, and was hanging off John, though Larry didn’t think that was due to the alcohol. He’d been hanging off John all day, the sexual tension crackling between them so thickly that Larry could feel it. Maybe that was the reason he was so testy. The young Sidhe contemplated his words for a moment, then turned into his lover, murmuring something into his ear that Larry couldn’t catch.

John’s grin was almost feral, and told Larry everything he needed to know. “We’ll walk back with you. We’re going to call it a night.”

Ben’s hand caught his before he could move, however. “Stay with me, I still have half a flask. I want to see the headliners, I really like this band.” His hand tightened on Larry’s slightly. “Please? I don’t wanna lose you.”

Larry hesitated. The thought of detouring somewhere for a quickie on his way back to camp had crossed his mind. But he couldn’t say no to Ben. He smiled, and returned the squeeze. “Sure. We’ll see you guys back at camp?”

Daniel nodded, pulling away from John to give his brother a warm hug, murmuring something in his ear as well. His smile looked slightly wicked when he pulled back, and he and John disappeared into the crowd just as the headlining band took the stage.

The low, sexy thrum of the bass did nothing to help quell Larry’s desires, but at least he could give himself over to the thrill of the crowd. He was familiar with the band; their lead singer was a satyr he’d met a few times, and the sultry, red-haired girl was a perfect choice for Midsummer’s Festival, her throaty voice immediately seducing the crowd.

“She’s a satyr?” Ben pressed his mouth close to his ear to be heard over the music.

Larry glanced back at him and grinned. “Of course she is. You didn’t know?”

“No. I guess I should have. She’s so passionate.”

“That’s what Midsummer is about,” Larry replied. Every part of him yearned to lean closer to Ben, to act on the passion and desire the singer’s voice induced in the crowd. But Ben stepped back. Larry had to bite back a curse of frustration. How could he stand to be here, surrounded by so much glamour and passion and life, and pretend that it didn’t affect him?”

He couldn’t push away his feelings of frustration and helplessness, and as the band moved into a second song, they only intensified. _“Love makes you desperate and feeling a fool~”_

Funny that he’d once been worried about Ben pining after unreturned passions. He felt a tap on his shoulder, and took the flask Ben offered him with a forced smile, fighting the urge to empty it.

_“And love makes you crazy with nothing but lies. Love promises nothing and then your love dies~”_

Fuck, this was impossible. He had to get out of there, he had to – 

The press of a hand to the small of his back pulled from his thoughts, and Larry froze as Ben’s hands smoothed around his waist, pulling him back against the solid warmth of his body. The caress of his fingers on bare skin was more than he could bear, and he twisted to look up at him. “Ben, please don’t –“

But the look in his love’s eyes was so tender and intent that his words caught in his throat. Ben gave a small smile, leaning in to kiss him, breath teasing and warm against his lips as he spoke. “She isn’t half as sexy as you are, you know.”

Larry gave a soft moan, wrapping his arms up around his neck and pressing his lips to his jaw. “God, Ben. Please don’t tease me. You have no idea how badly I want you right now.”

But instead of a reply, Ben pulled back to claim his mouth again, fingers tangling in his hair to hold him to a hard, trembling press of his lips. It felt almost as though a dam had broken, passion rushing free in such a strong surge that all Larry could do was hold on and yield to him. It was everything he’d wanted to feel from his love and more, much more. Far more passion than he’d imagined the stoic troll was capable of.

He gave a shuddering cry against Ben’s mouth as his lover’s hand moved down to cup and clench at his ass, pulling him closer. It was all he could do to keep from climbing Ben like a pole, from pulling open his clothes and riding him in the middle of the crowd. They certainly wouldn’t be the first, definitely not on Midsummer’s Eve. But it would definitely offend Ben’s sense of propriety. He nipped at Ben’s bottom lip before pressing hot kisses along his jaw. “How do you feel about undercover hand jobs?”

He felt Ben’s laugh more than heard it, and was surprised to feel him slip a hand up under his kilt, stroking over the curve of his ass and teasing the base of his tail. “Or we could go back to the tent and make love.”

 _Oh, thank Christ_. Larry pressed a hard kiss to his mouth, grinding his hips up against Ben’s and groaning at the hardness he could feel in his lover’s slacks. “Yes. Now.”

Grabbing Ben’s hand, he started to push his way through the crowd, towing his lover behind him. Thankfully it was easier to get out than it had been to get in, though as soon as they were away from the crowd Larry couldn’t resist the urge to pull Ben off the path and into the trees, pressing close for another kiss. He drew a sharp gasp as Ben pressed him back against the trunk of a tall pine, hands stroking up under his kilt again, rubbing restless circles over his hip bones before clenching at his ass. Larry couldn’t hold back his groan of pleasure, arching up into him and trying to devour his mouth, sucking on his lips and tongue as his hands slid hungrily over his vest and well-muscled shoulders. His lover responded by grinding his hips against him, fingers digging into the fleshy part of his ass, kisses more demanding.

Larry hooked one thigh up around his hip before he could stop himself, grinding his cock against Ben’s thigh as he fumbled with the closure on his lover’s pants. Pushing one hand into his boxers, he groaned as his fingers wrapped around the impressive girth of his hard cock. “Oh God, yes. Need you so bad, Ben, you have no idea – “

Ben drew a sharp hiss as Larry slowly palmed his shaft, pressing up into the stimulation. He nipped at Larry’s earlobe, one hand moving to rub at the base of his tail – god, how did he know how good that felt? - sending a surge of pleasure through him and making him cry out. 

“Please, god let me blow you, I can’t wait until we get back to the tent, I – “

“Shhh…” Ben covered his mouth with his own, stealing his whimper as he continued to stroke his tail. “Anything you want, love. I’d make love to you right here if I could….”

“Would you?” Larry pulled back to meet his gaze, smoothing his thumb through the slick of arousal at the head of Ben’s cock and giving him a dark smile. “I can facilitate that. If you want.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed, hands tightening on his ass. “You have supplies?”

He produced an extra-large condom from one of the pockets of his kilt with a smirk, and took one of Ben’s hands in his. For a moment he let himself indulge, catching two of his fingers between his lips and sucking on them with a groan. Then he pulled back, nuzzling his fingertips as he gathered glamour from around them and sang a cantrip under his breath.

Ben’s fingers were slick instantly, and he drew a sharp gasp, catching Larry’s mouth in a demanding kiss. “Fuck yes,” he hissed, and in moments was smoothing his fingers into the crease of his ass, working both inside him carefully.

Larry hissed at the penetration but pressed back against him, breathless from the ache of his thick fingers. But his body was well used to this, and he adjusted quickly enough that by the time Ben’s fingers were buried to the palm he was begging for more. “Oh fuck that feels good. Christ, Ben, need you so bad – ! “

They could still hear the main stage clearly, and the passion of the music and the glamour of the crowd only made him feel more eager for it. He yanked at Ben’s pants almost frantically, finally managing to pull them down enough to free him, rolling on the condom before murmuring another cantrip to slick his cock. He cried out as Ben’s fingers twisted inside him, finding his sweet spot unerringly, pleasure arcing through him. “Jesus fucking christ, please!”

“Hold tight,” Ben growled against his ear, fingers easing away from him. Then he grabbed his hips, bracing him back against the tree as he lifted him. Larry wrapped his thighs high around his waist, crying out against his mouth as his lover pushed inside him. The girth of Ben’s cock was incredible, stretching him open as he slowly eased deeper, pleasure curling with the discomfort that shivered up his spine.

The voice of the singer wove through the air, the gift of a satyr further lifting their passions. _“You come on like a drug, I just can't get enough. I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more~”_

He pressed a trembling kiss to Ben’s mouth, hooves digging into the small of his back. “Oh fuck yes, feels so good, love! Christ, fuck me – “

“So fucking good,” Ben breathed in response, rocking a little harder in him, fingers digging into his hips. “God, I love you. Oh fuck, Lar - !”

_”And there's so much at stake I can't afford to waste. I never needed anybody like this before~”_

Larry let his head fall back, drunk on the rush of joy at Ben’s words. “I’m so in love with you,” he breathed, lost in the glamour and passion and pleasure of their coupling and not even caring about the rough bark of the tree and scraped at his back. “Christ, Ben, harder - !”

He gave a sob of dismay as his lover slowed, but Ben kissed it away, wrapping his arms around him securely as he stepped back from the tree and sank to his knees with him. He freed one hand to fumble with the buttons of his vest, managing to shrug out of it and throwing it down as he laid Larry back onto it. “Better,” he murmured, catching his mouth as he began to move in him again, picking up the pace and stealing Larry’s cries with urgent kisses. The display of passion was perfect, and Larry gave into it entirely, fingers digging into his back as Ben took him again and again, shocks of pleasure shooting through him. Within moments it was too much, and he bit his lip on a wail as his passion crested and overwhelmed him.

“God, love - !” Ben’s cry was almost helpless as he joined him, thrusting deep as he came, arms tight around him. He pressed breathless kisses to his face and hair, sounding almost overwhelmed. “Oh God, Lar. So gorgeous, so perfect. Can’t get over you…”

“Don’t try to,” Larry breathed, catching his mouth for a trembling kiss.

For a long moment they stayed close, trading soft kisses, and Larry let his hands stroke through his lover’s hair and over his broad shoulders, drinking in the intimacy that he’d craved for so long. But there were far too many people coming and going along the path nearby, and he could feel Ben getting antsy. He caught his face in his hands, pulling him close for a warm kiss. “Let’s get decent and go snuggle while we catch the end of the set.”

Ben smiled against his mouth, easing away from him carefully, stroking his hips soothingly as he did. “I think your kilt’s a mess, though.”

Larry shifted to sit up, feeling deliciously well used. The kilt pocket with the condoms also held a couple of baggies, one of which he offered one to Ben with a grin, and wipes, which he used on said kilt. “No one will see the inside. God, that was amazing.”

“Worth waiting for?” Ben’s voice was light-hearted, but Larry caught the hint of insecurity. He leaned up to kiss him, warm and slow.

“So worth it. And I’d do it again. I really am in love with you, you know.”

He felt a shiver run through his lover, and Ben pulled him close, wrapping his arms tight around him. “Can I keep you all to myself tonight?”

“For as long as you want,” Larry replied, heart singing.

It was, on later reflection, a lovely Midsummer’s eve. As a lover, Ben was both ardent and tender, and being the focus of his attentions for the rest of the night made Larry almost giddy with joy. He discovered that caring for Ben as much as he did made the sex about far more than just pleasure; he felt more connected, more completed than he ever had with a lover before.

But when he woke up the next morning he could feel that something was wrong. Ben was too quiet, too reserved, and when Larry tried to coax him from it with careful words and affectionate touch, Ben almost seemed to pull away more. He didn't want to confront him about it - there was no need to do anything to justify the little worried looks Daniel was giving him - but it was impossible to ignore.

He finally managed to get Ben alone when they returned to the freehold, pulling him into John's empty reception hall. "Alright, handsome. Did I screw something up?"

He'd tried to keep his words light hearted, but Ben didn't crack a smile. He folded his arms over his chest and wet his lips. "You didn't... screw up. I guess I did."

"I don't think you have," Larry replied, resting a hand on his arm and trying to reassure him, though his own stomach was tying itself in knots. He rarely had lovers wake up with regrets, and certainly not ones he'd been as close with as he was with Ben. Or at least thought he was. "Come on, love. We had a great night, didn't we?"

Ben stepped away with a sigh, running one hand through the white spikes of his hair.“I’m sorry,” he said softly, not meeting his gaze. “I… I can’t do this.” 

Larry felt his heart drop down to his toes. “What do you mean?”

He watched his lover’s lips thin as he clenched his jaw. “Look, I - I just can’t do things halfheartedly, that’s not me, that’s not who I am.”

Larry managed to nod, trying to listen over the sound of his racing heart, to focus on something other than the clench of panic in his core. “Okay? I didn’t think you would - “

“I have a daughter,” Ben blurted. “But I might as well not even, her mother - “

“Okay, but what does that have to do with me? With us? Ben, I don’t understand – “

“I can’t commit to a satyr!”

For a long, terrible moment, there was nothing but icy silence as Larry stared at him, Ben’s words echoing in his ears. Then the rush of hurt hit him, tearing at his insides, burning his throat. “You said you loved me,” he said, barely managing to get the words out.

“I do,” Ben muttered, still not looking at him. “And that’s why I can’t do this. I can’t handle having my heart broken again when you move on to someone new.”

Larry staggered back to lean heavily against the wall, bringing his arms up to fold tightly across his chest. “You really think that little of me.”

“It’s not you, Lar, it’s just – “

“It’s just what, my _kith_?" He spat the word, anger mixing with the hurt. "Am I supposed to believe that you’re an uptight, passionless idiot just because you’re a troll, then? I know that’s not true, because I know you!” He was yelling now, tears burning his eyes, but he didn’t care. “I know you, and I know what I felt last night! Are you really turning your back on everything we have because you don’t trust me?”

Ben looked over to him sharply. “That’s not what I meant – “

“What the hell did you mean, Ben? You said you wouldn’t commit to me because I’d fucking leave you? That sure as hell sounds like you don’t trust me!”

He watched Ben’s gaze harden. “So you’re asking me to commit to you when you won’t?”

“I never said I wouldn’t!”

“But satyrs don’t commit! Don’t try to tell me - “

Larry tried to laugh bitterly, but all that came out was a broken sob. He drew the back of his arm across his eyes, blurring his vision with tears. “We only make commitments we know we can keep! But apparently you wouldn’t know that. You’ve never even fucking asked me – “

“Larry – “

“No! No, you know what? I can’t do this! I can’t be around someone who expects me to bottle up my emotions, and who claims he loves me and then tells me he can’t even fucking trust me! And I’m sorry I’m not some kind of noble, troll-ish - whatever the fuck it is you want me to be, but I’m not what you’re saying I am! I’ve done everything your way, Ben, I’ve been so fucking respectful, and if you can’t see how much you mean to me and maybe it’s you who doesn’t give a shit about me!” He turned, starting for the door, feeling like he'd burst if he had to stay a moment longer or listen to Ben’s reply.

“Larry, please!”

“No, I’m done!” He yelled back, pushing his way out of one of the huge double doors to the Hall with trembling arms giving it a mighty shove behind him. Ben wouldn’t come after him, and he wasn’t about to wait around and give him the opportunity.

He lost himself to the moon that night, going home with the first man who looked at him darkly and goading him on through his deepest desires, through sex that was hard and rough and left him scratched and bruised and aching. 

It wasn’t enough to overshadow the pain that lanced his heart with every breath he took.

But it was a start.


	5. Chapter 5

_I need to take a sabbatical,_ Larry texted John the next day when he finally woke up late in the morning. He wasn’t particularly sure that his pooka friend would reply; even on a good day it was difficult to get John to acknowledge his cell phone as a tool of communication instead of play. He was certain that Angry Birds was the only reason he kept it. Still, he didn’t particularly want to go back to the freehold to search for him, so it was worth a try.

John had replied by the time he stepped out of the shower. _Come talk to me. I’ll meet you in the library in one hour._ So much avoiding to the freehold.

He reassured himself with the fact that Ben would be at work. And why should he let Ben make him feel hesitant to visit his own freehold?

When he stepped into the grand library, he stopped short. The few occasions in the past that he’d needed to look things up in the freehold’s records had generally ended in swordfights with monster dust bunnies. He’d heard that John had asked Daniel to put it in order, but he still hadn’t expected such a monumental change. The haphazard piles of dusty tomes had been lovingly cleaned and moved to fill tall, guilt edged bookshelves. Drop cloths had been taken off the velvet upholstered furniture, and a wooden end tables had been polished until they shone in the warm golden glow that lit the Hall. Instead of dust bunnies, a small brown rabbit chimera with spectacles sat on top of a large desk, taking notes in what looked like a large catalog.

“Hello, Larry.”

Larry turned and immediately took a step backwards partly from nerves, partly from being overwhelmed. He hadn’t expected Daniel, and while the sidhe was normally beautiful, there was something about the library that made him seem almost radiant. But Daniel always had to him a kind of quiet humility that was very unlike the other sidhe Larry had met; even John’s mother, the lady Evangeline, had been always haughtily convinced of the superiority of her kith. However, Daniel had lived in the mortal realm for a very, very long time.

“I’m sorry, I - I was looking for John.”

“You were looking for me,” Daniel corrected, moving to sit at one end of a carved maple chesterfield upholstered in midnight blue. Daniel’s freehold finery tended towards elaborate suits in warm earth tones inspired by Edwardian fashion - or was it Victorian? Larry had to admit that he was much more of an expert on getting clothes off than on. Still, between his neat suit and the tiny pair of gold rimmed spectacles that were much like the pair worn by the tiny chemical rabbit, Daniel certainly didn’t seem imposing. He patted the couch beside him. “Please sit.”

Larry sighed, dropping down into the offered seat. “I’m sorry I upset your brother.”

Daniel gave a soft hum, considering him. “Funny, I’d thought the apology would need to go the other way.”

Thinking again about the argument was the last thing that Larry wanted to do. He hung his head. “I’m sorry, can we not do this? I really can’t deal with it right now.”

“Hence the sabbatical.”

Larry managed a nod. “I know I shouldn’t run away from my problems. I just… need to be able to put myself back together.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do?”

Larry had only put a little thought into it. “I thought I’d go stay with the boys on the mainland for a couple of weeks and then do the local festival circuit. There’s a caravan of Eshu coming up that I’ve traveled with before, they’re usually happy enough to adopt an extra set of strong arms to help sell their wares. Then… I guess I’ll see how I feel.”

Daniel nodded slowly. “I think that’s a good idea.”

Larry examined the other fae carefully, but sensed no anger in him. “You’re not going to tell me to stay here and face my problems? Or is this just encouragement to stay away from your brother?”

Daniel laughed softly, but it wasn’t unkind. “Hardly. I can see that you care for him. And even though you may not believe it now, he does care for you, Larry. Very deeply.”

“What the hell is this deal? I don’t get it. He - ” he stopped, letting out a long breath.

“Sometimes the easiest way to smooth the jagged peaks of a mountain is not with dynamite, but by letting the gentle rain slowly change it over time,” Daniel said. “Unfortunately, you’ve gotten involved with a mountain who is seen a lot of dynamite recently. But he’s worth it.”

“I just wish he’d talked to me, let me help somehow. But it’s like he thinks I don’t want to hear it. All this stuff about things being complicated and whatever went on with his daughter….”

Daniel leaned back against the couch, his expression turning wistful. “Whenever Ben has had children he has always loved him fiercely. He’s always at his best when he’s protecting someone. It’s his story to tell, but it’s partly my fault. There was no hope of him working things out with her mother, both Ben and I knew that. But if we hadn’t been forced to leave then perhaps they could have reached some kind of compromise. Ben is still very raw from it. He’s trying to protect himself. He’s just doing it in all the wrong ways.” Daniel offered a shrug and an apologetic smile. “I hope that when some time has passed you can find it in your heart to forgive him.”

Larry leaned back against the couch as well, crossing one leg over the other. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder?”

Daniel reached over to cover one of Larry’s hands with his own, giving it a squeeze. “And stronger. Take your time away, Larry. I will work on Ben. If you still want him, then return when you’re ready. I will look after John in your absence. He says you can take as long as you want. But we thought perhaps I was the better person to deliver that permission.”

Larry glanced over to him. “You really love him, don’t you?”

Daniel glanced down, a flush coloring his cheeks as he smiled. “Deeply. Unexpectedly. Perhaps a little madly. He balances me. I want that for my brother. I appreciate how understanding you’ve been with him.”

“I haven’t felt very understanding.”

Daniel’s reply was a soft, noncommittal hum and a pat to Larry’s hand. He stood. “I will send you my phone number. If you need anything it’s probably the more reliable way to get ahold of John.”

Larry stopped by the Batcave on his way out, though only Connor was working, painting careful coats of red enamel onto the toenails of the hippo’s feet-cum-wheel wells. The design was ingenious now that it was starting to come together, and part of him suddenly wished that he was going to burning man with them. Maybe now it would be a possibility.

“Connor? I’m taking off. Going to meet up with Juliet and her crew and do the festival circuit for a while.”

The young nocker set aside the pot of enamel and stood to meet him, pulling him into a hug. “Time to get your mojo back, yeah? Good plan. Will I see you at Bass Coast? We’re helping run shit at one of the stages.”

Larry nodded. “I’ll come camp with you. We can go to Shambs together.”

“Ace. Hey, Abby’s done a fucking gorgeous job on that guitar of yours. It’s almost done, do you want to see it?”

Larry felt his stomach twist at the reminder. Part of him wanted to tell Connor not to bother having it finished. But there was still hope, right? He shook his head. “Surprise me when it’s done. I trust you.” He pressed a kiss to Connor’s temple, then stepped back. “Thanks.”

Larry spent the rest of the day making sure his studio was in order, but the mortal woman who managed it for him was more than competent enough to take care of anything that might arise in his absence. Then he dug out his old backpacking gear, packed his festival equipment and enough clothes to get by, and caught the first ferry to the mainland.

Neal and Ken were more than happy to see him, and pulled him immediately into their world of high-end modeling and expensive parties, though he’d had to borrow clothes for a few. He ended up in bed with them a few times, but while the sex was liberating and rejuvenating, after a time it stopped feeling quite as necessary as it once had. 

He was a little relieved when the caravan of Eshu arrived up from Seattle, happily taking him east. They set up at a folk festival first, selling artisan jewelry and festival clothes to young hipsters and music enthusiasts during the day. At night it was easy for him to find other musicians, both Fae and mortal alike, and in the sea of welcoming faces around campfires and the joy of making music, he finally started to feel more himself again.

By the time he hit Bass Coast and met up with the Nockers he was riding high on love and glamour. Connor had brought the little pooka girl with him that was most certainly on the road to being his girlfriend, though Larry found he didn’t mind at all. Pooka-Abby was an adorable little thing with some kind of lizard affinity that manifested in big blue lizard-slit eyes and tiny incandescent scales that sparkled in places on her skin. They were cute together. Nocker-Abby and Cherry had been inseparable since the second nocker had woken up one day at school during what Cherry described as "the most intense fucking hack-a-thon EVER", whatever that was.

Spending so much time with the happy couples often made him think of Ben. The memories still hurt, but as the days went by he found that his anger had faded. He missed Ben's presence more than he'd thought he would, missed Ben's touch and smile and conversation. But he still wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to go home.

At least John’s sister had come with them, Lady Anna, so he wasn’t a total gooseberry. The younger girl decided to teach him how to fan dance while the nockers were on shift. “You’re coming to Shambs with us, right?” she asked when they stopped to take a break.

“Of course I am. Are you?”

Bass Coast was a favorite for Selkies, being only a quick three hour drive from the coast. Their kith wilted quickly if they spent too long away from the sea. Shambhala was much farther inland, close to an eight hour drive from the sea. But Anna had always seemed a little more resilient; perhaps a result of being raised mostly on the freehold. The girl grinned. “Definitely. I’ve been saving glamour for months, and we’ll gain more at the festivals. They have the river, and being in the glen most of the time will be enough to keep me in top shape until we come home again.”

“I’m still keeping an eye on you,” he said, and ruffled her hair.

Anna pressed into the touch with a grin, dark eyes half closing in contentment. Like John, the young girl enjoyed petting. “And then you’re coming home with me?”

Larry couldn’t answer for a moment. “I honestly don’t know, Anna. It feels good to be on the road again. I’m thinking about staying with the Eshu until burning man, they’ve got a show every weekend between now and then.”

“But that’s so long! I mean, do it if you want, it’s just… not quite the same at home without you there. John and Daniel have been fucking like rabbits. And Ben – “ she stopped. “Sorry.”

“Is he doing okay?” Larry asked before he could stop himself.

“He’s working Angie really hard. I had to kidnap her off to Lady Serra’s resort last weekend just to give her a break.” She looked up at him, her liquid black seal eyes wide. “You are coming home, aren’t you? Sometime?”

It was hard to say no to those eyes. “Yeah, kiddo. I promise.”

“Not a kid anymore,” she said with a wink. Her voice was teasing, but despite the reminder of Ben, Larry felt encouraged. The Fae of the freehold had become his family. It would be worth going home. 

Shambhala had been the first big festival he'd attended after his chrysalis, and he'd fallen immediately in love with the venue. It had still been all ages then, and families of fae frolicked with the mortal revelers. The festival main was inside a fairy glen that had been painstakingly maintained by an old Satyr family, though the majority of the fae who spearheaded the festival were Nockers. The yearly infusion of glamour from the dreams of the mortal attendees was more than enough to keep the glen stable in the mortal world and recharge the fae that attended. And if perhaps the dreams were encouraged with a few enchanted blotter tabs or sugar pills... well, no mortals were any wiser, at least.

Being back at Shambhala, next the kaleidoscope of art and lights and music in the middle of nature made him feel optimistic. Perhaps he could start learning a new skill when he returned home, he found himself thinking one night as they wove their way through the trees in the darkness between stages. His mentor had taught him as much about the Dreaming as he had about music and inspiring mortals, but since he’d been on his own, Larry’s studies had been mainly physical. Perhaps it was time….

He was so lost in his thought that he nearly tripped over the mortal girl that lay sprawled on the ground in the darkness. He caught himself at the last moment, stumbling in an effort to step over her but managing to stay on his feet. “Shit! Is she okay?”

Pooka-Abby had been behind him, and knelt down next to the girl. “She’s still breathing, but she’s pretty cold.”

Larry dropped to his knees with her. He took off his scarf and looped it around her, then pulled the unconscious girl into his arms. She was wearing nothing more than a rhinestone encrusted bra and a frilly tutu with furry knee-high legwarmers. “No wonder she’s freezing. She’s half naked.”

Nocker-Abby snorted. “You’re one to fucking talk. You’re out in a scarf and a kilt.”

“Yeah, but I’ve got fur.” Larry stood, hefting the girl easily and letting Anna tuck her sweater around her shivering body. “I’ll take her to the med tent. Want to meet at the Village stage? Behind the sound booth?”

“I’m coming with you,” Anna declared suddenly. “She’s sleeping.”

Connor quirked an eyebrow. “She’s fucking unconscious.”

“Well, yeah, but she’s _sleeping_ sleeping. She’s one of us.”

“Is she?” Larry felt a thrill of excitement and took a closer look. There was something about her that spoke to his fae side of glamour and dreams, though he couldn’t tell what. Here it could be anything. “She could be Kinain.”

“No, she’s Fae.” He’d never seen Anna so certain. “Come on. I can help her. Let’s get her to the med tent so we can get her warm.”

It took him a little longer than he’d liked to reach the huge medical tent and sanctuary with the girl in his arms, though he was relieved to see that one of the head volunteers was fae, an Eshu that took one look at them and then took charge. “I’d like to stay with her,” Anna told him as the festival staff took the girl from him and started to check her vitals. “I can help her. I want to make sure she’s okay.”

Larry still thought it was a little strange for the selkie girl to be so set on something. “If you’re sure. I can stay with you too, if you want.”

Anna smiled and shook her head. “If I’m not back with her by noon tomorrow come meet us here. Go have fun.”

Larry watched the dark-haired girl disappear into the tent, then slowly started away. The med tent was at one end of the festival’s food court, and the brightly lit area was full of revelers getting late-night snacks or coffee. He could leave to find the others, but perhaps he should let them be. Maybe it was time to just wander the festival alone and see where things took him…

“Larry!”

He turned quickly at the sound of his name, staring at the figure that stood by the festival’s coffee shop in disbelief. “Ben? You’re _here?_ ”

Ben had taken a few steps forward, but stopped, uncertain. “I got here this afternoon. I’ve been trying to find you. I… I wanted to apologize.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Larry sprinted across the grass to him, jumping up and throwing his arms around Ben’s neck, legs around his hips. Ben caught him with a short, surprised laugh, holding him tight. He pressed his face to Larry’s hair, breath a trembling sigh. “... you aren’t mad at me?”

“Furious. But I missed you.” Larry buried his face in the crook of his neck, letting himself be overwhelmed by the familiarity of Ben’s embrace, his warmth, his scent. It felt good. He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. “God, I really missed you.”

“Me too,” Ben murmured. He pressed a kiss to Larry’s hair. “I’ve been an idiot and a coward, Lar. And inexcusably rude. Do you think you can ever forgive me?”

A group of mortal revelers marched by before Larry could reply, wolf whistling at them and shouting encouragements. The leader carried a giant foam black fist with a tiny LED Daisy in it that he pumped in the air. “Gettin’ some Shambhalove!”

Larry chuckled and hopped down, enjoying the waves of glamour that washed over him in their wake. He let his hands rest on Ben’s chest, looking up at him. “I’ll forgive you. But I have two conditions.”

Ben’s eyebrows knit together slightly. “Okay?”

Larry tried to reassure him with a smile, and leaned up to press a soft kiss to his mouth. “Tell me where the change of heart came from. And what hurt you badly enough that it made you distrust my entire kith. Can you do that for me?”

Ben swallowed, and gave a small nod. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s fair. But do you think we could go somewhere that’s a little less…” He motioned the throngs of people traveling around them. “…rave?”

Larry chuckled, slipping a hand into his and giving a reassuring squeeze. “Of course. I know just the place.”

He led Ben through the festival grounds, past stages filled with dancers in multicolored festival garb, past dragon sculptures that breathed bursts of flame and giant wire insects with glowing eyes. The light faded as they made their way into the campground, but every living thing glowed with life and glamour to their fae sight, and it was easy to find his way back to his tent.

“Here?” Ben questioned, glancing around. They’d made camp with the Eshu train and a beautiful clearing that they’d quickly filled with tents of all sizes, and hammocks strung between trees. Larry ducked into a small one, coming out with a bundle of sleeping bag.

“Shh. Some of the older ones turn in early. Come with me.”

He’d found the spot the day before completely by chance, but it was easy enough to make his way back there. The small river that wound its way through the valley was edged on their side by a low cliff, and with the way the river turned the bank overlooked the valley downstream for quite a ways. They could see the lights of one of the stages in the distance, colorful against the nighttime, and here and there in the darkness the cherry of a red cigarette butt glowed from couples or groups of people that sat on the river stones along the river’s far bank. But this spot was quiet, private. Just right.

It was a little chilly by the river, but his sleeping bags were an ingenious design; two bags that zipped together into one large blanket. Sitting on the bottom, he wrapped the top around his shoulders and held up the other half for Ben. “Come sit, love.”

Ben settled in beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close, face resting against his hair. He sighed softly, fingers stroking slow circles on his side. “Thanks for talking to me. I said so many horrible things to you, Larry…. I’m sorry.”

“I think we both let emotion get the better of us,” Larry replied, turning his face up to him, Ben’s features just visible in the darkness. “But can you help me understand?”

Ben was silent longer enough that Larry began to think that he’d need to prompt him again. Then Ben finally spoke. “It was one of those things where you look back and realize how stupid you were. I mean, Daniel and I knew her for years growing up. The mother of my daughter. She was a satyr. She always had a new guy on her arm, she even tried to seduce Daniel once. But it was a big freehold, most of the satyr I met there were very open with their desires. Hell, I popped my cherry was a very nice satyr boy. But Amy…”

His words fell into silence. Larry pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder, keeping his voice low. “Broke your heart?”

“I _knew_ better,” Ben insisted. “But she made me believe it was real. She pursued me for six months, Lar. Pursued me constantly - drinks, love notes, serenades, dancing. She hung off my every word and told me I was the one, I was the love of her life and she wanted to start a family and….” His voice grew rough, and he let out a soft huff of frustration. “I was dumb and gave in. I believed her, I let myself love her. We hadn’t even been together half a year when she took off. She was pregnant and she still took off. In hindsight I have to admit that she tried, but I could tell she’d lost interest. Your kith can’t fake passion well. So when you and I started getting close I guess I just became nervous that it would happen again. That’s why I was such an ass after Midsummer.”

Larry leaned into his lover’s side, wrapping his arms around his waist, heart aching. “I’m sorry.”

Ben’s arm tightened around his shoulders slightly. “It’s strange to talk about. I think I could’ve forgiven her she’d just let me be a father to Daisy. My little girl is so beautiful, Lar, I can’t even begin to describe. But Amy just came up with these bullshit reasons about not wanting me around because she doesn’t love me and doesn’t want Daisy to see that and I - was I supposed to do? I’m not even on her birth certificate. I have no rights in the human world and no power in ours. And then Daniel and I had to leave. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.”

He could hear his lover’s pain in his voice, feel it almost as keenly as if it was his own. “I don’t think I know anyone in your old freehold, but Satyr are very well connected. I could talk to my people….”

“Yeah?” Ben gave a soft, surprised laugh, and turned to wrap both arms round him. “Thanks. And for listening. I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to get over being afraid, it’s shameful how much of a coward I’ve been. It was just hard to let myself love her only to find out that it had all been a lie.”

“I don’t think it was all a lie,” Larry murmured, drawing back to look at him. “Some satyr just have a passion for romance. The pursuit is what drives them to love, and then to their next love. I think it’s the loneliest existence there is.” He reached up to trace his fingertips along Ben’s jaw, over his cheek. “It’s not my passion. I’m not like that. I know all I can do is ask you to trust me, but I really hope you will.”

Ben nodded, drawing him close and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll do my best, love. Just might be a bit clingy at times.” He pressed another kiss to his nose, then caught his mouth warmly. “I really do love you, you know. I tried so hard not to. But I can’t deny my heart.”

Larry’s fingers curled in his hair as he returned the kiss with a soft, happy hum. “I’ll do my best to be gentle with it,” he promised, stealing another kiss, lips lingering to enjoy the caress of Ben’s breath on his mouth.

“And I’ll help you indulge your passion.” Ben's voice lowered to a growl. He smoothed one hand down to cup Larry’s ass through his kilt, turning closer to him. “Sex with you is really amazing….”

Larry laughed softly, then moved to straddle his lap, wrapping his arms up around his neck. “Sex isn’t my passion, silly. I mean, yeah I love it, my mentor used to tell me that I had the gift of being able to feel passion for anything I wanted. But it’s not what drives me.”

“No?” Ben pulled back a little bit, sounding surprised. “Music, then?”

“People,” Larry replied softly, winding his fingers in the short spikes of Ben’s hair. “I just like helping people feel comfortable and confident and like they’re having a good time. It’s strongest for people I care about. If it involves sex or music that’s just a bonus.” He grinned wide, shifting a little on his lap. “Of course, if sex is what makes you happy....”

Ben gave a soft hiss as he moved, replying with a kiss so demanding that it took Larry’s breath away. He stroked his hands up his thighs and under his kilt. “Very happy,” he purred, fingers clenching on his hips. “Do you always go commando under this thing? Not that I’m complaining.”

Larry chuckled against his mouth, rocking slowly against him, quickly growing more aroused. “Underwear is extremely overrated.” His lips found Ben’s again, the tip of his tongue tracing briefly along the seam before delving deeper with a low moan. He drew a sharp hiss against his mouth as Ben’s fingers moved to tease the base of his tail, then drew back suddenly. “Hey! You didn’t answer my question.”

“Hmm?” Ben’s hands stilled on his ass, though his thumbs still stroked slow patterns through his fur. “What question?”

Larry let his forehead rest against his, voice soft. “What made you come find me?”

Ben gave a soft hum of understanding, speaking as he trailed slow kisses along his jaw. “Beyond how devastatingly sexy you are… How empty I feel without you… The fact that John wouldn’t talk to me….”

Laughter bubbled from Larry’s lips. “He wouldn’t?”

“Oh God. Not just the silent treatment, either. We’re talking ‘Daniel, please tell your idiot brother this, please tell him that.’ Poor Daniel.” He chuckled as his lips reached Larry’s ear, and he placed a warm kiss under it, moving his hands from under his kilt to wrap his arms around him tightly. His voice was throaty when he spoke again, all trace of mirth gone. “You've never pushed yourself on me. I really appreciate that. I told myself that I was just being careful when in reality I was just being a dick. And not being fair to you, not at all, especially when you’ve been so good to me. Larry… Daniel started working in the Batcave. He found your guitar.”

Larry felt a thrill of excitement curl in his stomach, and he pulled back to look at him. “Do you like it?”

Ben nodded, and swallowed visibly. “It’s exquisite. It’s so much more than I deserve, Lar. You really had it made for me?”

He sounded completely disbelieving, and Larry smiled. “I like making people happy,” he murmured, and kissed him again. “Especially the people that I love.”

Ben answered with a sudden surge of passion, one hand tangling in the waves of Larry’s red hair as he kissed him deeply again and again. “I want you,” he growled, nipping at his bottom lip, free hand moving to clench his ass again. “Want you so bad. For as long as you’ll have me.”

Larry shivered, rocking his hips against his, feeling almost drunk on the mix of love and joy and passion. “Then that’s going to be for a very, very long time.” He drew a shuddering breath as Ben’s hands stroked under his kilt again, kneading his ass as he rocked on him. “Oh God, Ben. Make love to me. It’s been _weeks_.”

Ben gave a surprised chuckle, moving his other hand to join the first, cupping and squeezing and encouraging the rock of his hips. “Weeks?”

“Nothing really satisfied after your cock,” Larry purred playfully, grinding a little harder against him, feeling almost wildly aroused at the hardness he could feel between them, straining at Ben’s pants. “God, you make me so hard, baby….”

Ben’s hands tightened on his ass, rubbing over the curve of it. “I make _you_ hard? Fuck, Lar. You have no idea how many times I’ve had to jerk off just thinking about your perfect ass….”

“Perfect?” Larry gave a low hum against his mouth, pleased.

“So perfect,” Ben replied huskily, hands still kneading at his ass. “Perfect handfuls, perfect shape, and this sexy fucking little tail of yours….”

Larry’s breath stuttered in a gasp as Ben’s fingers moved to rub the base of it again, his other hand slipping down to tease between the crack and over his hole, stroking gently. “Oh fuck, Ben…! Have no idea what that does to me….”

“Have a pretty damn good idea,” Ben retorted, kissing down his neck, sucking in his skin. “Should we go back to the tent?”

“I have supplies here,” Larry replied huskily. “Besides, I’m not sure you’d fit in my tiny tent.”

Ben laughed against his skin, then nipped at the crook of his neck, biting a little harder. “You’re quite the boy scout.” He murmured against his skin, licking over the spot to soothe. “Did you seriously learn the Flickerflash cantrip just to summon lube?”

Larry’s reply was a very devious sounding giggle, and he pulled Ben’s mouth up to his again, reaching between them to palm him through his pants. “Convenient, right? Mmm, god… forgot how thick you are….” He tugged open the closure of his pants and slipped a hand inside, groaning as he curled his fingers around him.

Ben drew a sharp hiss, but tugged his hand away. “Let me spoil you,” he murmured. His fingers found the buckles on the waistband of his kilt, tugging it off and setting it within reach. “Lay back for me.”

Suddenly glad the sleeping bag was so big, Larry did as he asked, tilting his head back to Ben’s kisses as he mouthed down his neck and nuzzled his chest. “Your legs will get cold….”

“I’ll be fine,” came the reply as Ben swirled a tongue around one nipple. He nipped lightly at the skin before continuing to kiss downwards, fingers rubbing over his hip. “God… love the way you taste, love your scent….” His breath teased hot against his skin as he nuzzled his stomach, finally moving to draw his tongue up the length of his shaft.

Larry bit his lip on a moan, fingers curling in Ben’s hair. “God that feels good….” He lifted the blanket to watch his lover lavish attention on his cock, sucking at the underside and head, teasing the slit with his tongue before finally taking him in. Ben’s eyes half closed in pleasure as his lips slid down his shaft, fingers stroking between his thighs and through the soft downy fur behind his sac.

“Taste so good,” Ben murmured, taking him again. He pushed his other hand between the small of his back and the ground, stroking down until he could gently massage the base of his tail again, warm shivers of pleasure joining the hot passion of his mouth. Larry’s hips bucked up a little despite himself, but Ben took it easily, the head of his cock nudging the back of his throat as he sucked him eagerly.

“Oh god Ben… fuck - !” It took what felt like an impossible amount of concentration just to sing the cantrip, and he pushed the small bottle of lube it summoned against Ben’s shoulder. “Please, love….”

Ben hummed appreciatively around him as he drew back, still massaging his tail gently. He held out his free hand for Larry to pour lube on his fingers, watching Larry's face intently as he stroked his fingers back to ease two carefully inside him.

Biting his lip didn’t stop the breathless cry from leaving Larry’s throat. “Oh god yes… fuck, need you so bad….”

Ben pumped his fingers in him slowly, leaning down to draw his tongue up the underside of his shaft again. “Do you think you can come twice for me, love? I’d really, really like you to come in my mouth while I finger you open for my cock….”

Larry drew a sharp hiss at his words, shivering under him from Ben’s words and the combination of stimulation. “Fuck. Fuck, yes, fuck. I'm a satyr, of course I can. Not gonna take long if you keep doing that to my tail!”

”Good,” Ben purred, taking him in his mouth again with an almost hungry sounding groan that vibrated through him. Larry found himself again a little amazed that his normally calm lover was capable of such passion. Then Ben’s fingers twisted inside him, rubbing unerringly against his sweet spot, and Larry found himself quickly incapable of further thought. He pressed the side of his hand against his mouth in an attempt to muffle his gasps of enjoyment, pleasure flooding his senses until he was tense and trembling with the need to come. Then Ben swallowed him to the hilt, and with the caress of his fingers, the sensation was too much. He came with a choked shout, pleasure shuddering through his body as he reached climax, coming in hot spurts in his lover’s eager mouth.

Ben gave a very pleased sounding hum around him, nuzzling his softening cock as he released him, then pressing warm kisses along the top of his hip where his fur was light and downy. “So goddamn beautiful, Lar. Taste so good…”

“Get up here,” Larry replied with a lazy, sated grin, tugging at his shoulders. He caught Ben’s mouth in a warm kiss, licking between his lips to taste the hints of passion that still remained and giving a low, appreciative hum.

Ben’s cock pressed hard against his hip, he rocked against him slowly as he kissed, wanting but not demanding. Larry pushed a hand between them to caress him, smiling at the low groan stole from Ben’s throat. “We should get you more naked,” he purred, nipping at his bottom lip.

“Bit cold to be naked,” Ben replied, pulling him closer. “We’ve had sex with more clothes on….”

“But it’s so much nicer without.” Larry pouted playfully, then pulled away, zipping up the other three sides of the bag to form a huge pouch, and then wriggling back in with Ben. He kissed down the length of his body, undoing buttons as he did, licking along the dark lines of the tattoos that adorned his chest. “God, you’re so fucking sexy.”

Ben gave an appreciative hum, stroking his fingers through Larry’s hair, thumbs caressing the base of his horns. “Not half as sexy as you….”  
Larry chuckled, pushing his pants and boxers down over his hips so he could draw his tongue up the length of his cock. “But I don’t have anything near as nice as this beauty,” he purred, sucking on the tip as he pushed his pants down to his knees. “God, can’t wait to have you inside me. Hand me my kilt?”

Ben did so, and managed to kick his pants down the bottom of the sleeping bag. “I don’t know if we have room to have sex in this thing….”

Larry’s answering laugh was muffled around his cock as he took him in his mouth hungrily. Then he pulled back, rolling a condom on and pressing a kiss to Ben’s hip. “There’s more than enough room to spoon.”

“Yeah?” 

In moments Larry had wriggled back into his arms, turning to press his back against Ben’s chest, pulling one arm around him. He found the bottle of lube and poured some onto Ben’s fingers, then rolled a second condom onto his still half hard cock. His tail flicked against Ben’s stomach, soft and teasing and inviting. “Come on, love. Can’t have makeup sex without the sex.”

Ben bent his head to kiss his shoulder, hungrily nipping at the crook of his neck as he slicked himself, then pushed three slick fingers back into Larry’s ass. “God, you make me lose my mind, Lar. So fucking sexy, so perfect…”

Larry whined breathlessly, pushing back against his fingers. “Fuck me, then. God, Ben, please….”

He twisted his fingers inside Larry one more time, an appreciative groan deep in his throat at the way it made his lover whimper and buck tense against him. Then he eased them away, guiding his cock to take their place, rocking against him insistently until the flared head of his cock pushed past the tight ring of muscle and into his body.

“God - !” Larry reached back, fingers scrabbling for purchase on Ben’s hip, pulling him closer. “Oh fuck, Ben, feels so fucking good!” His words ended in a whimper and a shuddering gasp. “So fucking big…”

Ben nuzzled the back of his neck, hand moving to cup and squeeze his ass, rubbing gently as he slowly rocked deeper. “You okay, love?”

Larry’s breath caught on his response, body clenching and shuddering around the intrusion. “Oh fuck, yes. Love…. love feeling so full, so completely owned…” He drew a sharp gasp as Ben gave a slightly harder thrust. “Oh God yes, just like that - !”

“Shhh….” Ben nipped at his earlobe, shifting the arm wrapped under Larry so he could press his fingertips to his lips. “We’re gonna wake up the whole festival….”

Larry caught two of his fingers in his mouth, and he hummed around them in agreement, sucking hungrily. It seemed to encourage his lover more, and Ben groaned into Larry’s shoulder, hips stuttering as he continued the same slow, deep pace he’d set. As much as he just wanted to be fucked raw, hard and fast, there was something reassuring about Ben’s slow, intense lovemaking. The girth of his cock left Larry feeling stretched open and almost helpless, each thrust pushing a burst of pleasure through him, Ben's cock rubbing hard against his prostate every time Ben buried himself to the hilt. And there was a perverse kind of pleasure knowing that his body could take this, could handle his lover’s amazing, impressive size and respond with passion.

When Ben’s hand moved from his hip to curl around his cock he was already hard again, and Larry bucked back against him, crying out breathlessly around his fingers. He moaned around his fingers encouragingly, hips rocking between the grasp of his fingers in the pound of his cock. “Mm-hmm!”

“Shhh…” Ben murmured again, but picked up the pace, and it was all Larry could do not to scream at the intensity of it. His fingers dug into Ben’s hip, pleasure arching through him. Part of him wanted to enjoy this forever, to spend every waking moment feeling this good, but the intensity was too much, quickly pushing him closer to orgasm.

Ben’s words didn’t help, gasped against his skin as he took his pleasure again and again. “You feel so good, love, so hot, so tight around my cock. Love fucking you so much, drive me crazy… fuck, gonna make me come so hard, Lar - !”

Larry pulled his mouth away from Ben’s fingers, breath catching as he tried to reply. “Oh fuck, Ben - so good - fuck, come in me, oh God, please - !”

His lover gave a sharp gasp and bucked into him hard, crying out against his shoulder as he found his release in hot, slick spurts of come inside him. Ben’s burst of passion was as overwhelming as the sensation he was feeling, and Larry bucked back against him as it pulled his own body of along for the ride, shivering and clenching around Ben’s cock as climax overwhelmed him.

When he could think again, Ben was nuzzling his shoulder, murmuring soft endearments. “My love, so perfect, Larry, so amazing….”

Larry laughed breathlessly, the intense sense of satisfaction he felt compounding the rush of post orgasm relaxation. He managed to find his kilt outside the tent and finished for a baggie, offering it to Ben and knotting off his own condom. “Let’s sleep here.”

“Can we?” Ben leaned in to catch his mouth as Larry turned in his arms, his kiss slow and deep and possessive.

“Definitely.” Larry nestled his face into Ben’s chest, sighing happily as Ben pressed a kiss to his hair.

“I love you very much,” Ben said softly, and Larry tightened his arm around him in reply, kissing his chest.

“Makes me so happy to hear that, love,” he murmured, and sleep quickly took him.

They didn’t wake until the afternoon sun stole their shade and turned the cozy sleeping bag into a small furnace. Larry pressed a kiss to Ben’s throat before wriggling away, finding the zipper pull and rolling out of the bag and onto the grass, completely unconcerned with his nudity. Below them in the river they could hear the laughter of festival goers as they baked in the sun or cooled off in the stream. There would be more than enough people swimming naked, anyway. Still, he found his kilt and buckled it around his hips, wanting to maintain some sense of propriety in the campground.

Ben blinked up at him sleepily, but smiled. “Your hair is all over the place.”

“After that toe curling, hair mussing sex? Good, it better be.” Still, he smoothed it down as Ben pulled his clothes back on, then started with him back to camp.

Anna had returned before him, sitting on the picnic bench beside a blonde haired satyr girl with tawny, furred legs and tiny gold horns that matched her hair. With a shock, Larry realized that it was the girl from last night, awake and well and apparently now aware of her Fae nature. He strode toward her with a smile. “Good morning, lovelies. Glad to see you well.”

Anna looked up at him with a smile so bright it could’ve lit the whole glade. Her fingers were laced around the other girls, and the closeness of their body language was unmistakable. “Larry, this is May! She’s going to come home with us tomorrow. May, this is Larry. He helped me with you last night. His boyfriend is Ben. Ben, I’m so glad you came.”

May smiled at him, still with the kind of overwhelmed, incredulous look in her eyes of someone just being introduced to the glamour of their world. “Thank you so much. I feel - this is all so - and you’re like me!”

Larry found himself grinning. “That I am. Fairies born out of mortal dreams of love and passion, we are.”

Anna stood, catching his hand and looking up at him anxiously. “Will you mentor her, Larry? I’m certain John will approve of it.”

The request caught him off guard. “Me? I’m not old enough.”

Ben chuckled, wrapping an arm around his waist and giving him a squeeze. “You’re no younger than I am. You’ll make a good mentor. I’ll help.”

May stood as well, her smile both shy and eager. “I’d be very grateful. Anna says she’ll teach me everything she knows, but that there’s things I need to learn from my own Kith. I promise I'll be the best – foundling – “she hesitated on the unfamiliar word “that I can.”

Larry couldn’t deny that the girl was adorable, and the love that he could feel between her and Anna was warm and reassuring. He wondered if there was something more, something that Anna had seen or felt when they found May in the forest that had led her to care so much for the girl.

“I’ll tell you what my mentor told me,” he said, pulling away from Ben to take one of May’s hand in both of his. “Satyrs don’t make any commitments unless they know for certain that they can keep them, for our word is our bond and our greatest gift. So all I will ask of you for now is this. Come back to our freehold with us, and I will offer you the oath of fostering for a year and a day. Then we can reevaluate. Does that suit you?”

May nodded eagerly. “Yes, definitely. Thank you so much. And for helping me last night. You’re so kind, this is so… I feel like I’m going to wake up at any moment.”

”We’ll take good care of you,” Larry promised. “You should bring your things to our campsite. We’ll need to leave early tomorrow, Anna can’t stay away from the ocean for too long.”

“Oh! Yes, of course. Anna, will you help me get them?”

Larry watched the two girls disappear into the forest hand in hand, then moved to perch on Ben’s lap where he’d sent down on a tree stump, wrapping his arms around his lover’s neck. “Well that was unexpected. You really think I’ll be okay?”

Ben smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to his mouth, and it struck Larry that he’d never seen his lover so relaxed and at ease. “You’ll be great. You’re already great.”

Larry laid his head on his shoulder and gave a soft, pleased hum. “And you don’t mind staying tonight? I can show you the festival. It’s so amazing here.”

“I’m happy to stay with you.” Ben nuzzled his ear, lowering his voice to a soft rumble. “But I’m really looking forward to getting you back to proper bed so I can finally fuck you into the mattress.”

Larry shivered at the soft surge of passion and desire, lifting his head to kiss Ben hungrily and wondering if he could find someplace private enough for a mid-afternoon fuck. “Love, that’s the best idea I’ve heard in a long time.”

~~finish~~


End file.
